Marwan* came to our London centre for treatment last year. He shares his story below.
“I work in the entertainment industry which openly encourages alcohol and recreational drug use as part of day-to-day life especially in respect of coping with the long hours and close-quarters nature of work and there is a huge toxic undercurrent to the business which is openly racist. I didn’t feel I could turn to anyone for support as I was expected to be indestructible and full of positive energy all the time, despite the constant provocations and abuses I would receive on a daily basis. This was also starting to take its toll outside of my work and my personal relationship with my partner and family were constantly under strain as I regularly expressed the pain I was going through with sadness and anger.
I arrived at James’ Place after being referred following months of experiencing suicidal thoughts and actively looking at ways of taking my own life in as painless a way possible. I was given an initial assessment where I felt I could be completely frank about the factors I thought led to this point, however trivial I had previously been told by others these were. I was treated with respect, kindness and understanding throughout my 10-week course of talk therapy, and allowed to reach my comfort zone of being able to talk about why I wanted to end my life following my therapist creating an environment of trust and candour. This in turn unveiled to me other reasons I had never really considered, ranging from my childhood experiences to other sources of trauma that I just didn’t realise were there, as well as helping me understand where my addictive tendencies towards work and substances came from.
Since finishing my treatment my quality of life has greatly improved; it is as if I have learned how to be happy. I quit my job and became a consultant meaning I have more time to enjoy myself rather than working all the time, which has also benefited me financially. I haven’t touched drugs since finishing the therapy, and purposely limit my alcohol intake. My partner and I are now married and have recently welcomed our first child into the world, who I can now watch grow up. I feel the intervention and therapy happened at precisely the right time to change the course of my life, and has helped me to escape the constant guilt by teaching me that I’m allowed to be human, alongside recognising and removing myself from the environments that are bad for me.”
*name changed to protect identity
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