Steven's story

“I had gone through some bad times during a relationship I was in for over 20 years, then I had the courage to leave. I had tried to suppress my anger and what ifs for the best part of a year but I could feel myself falling further and further into a hole that I couldn’t climb out of and often felt like ending my life would be the only way to stop the pain. After eventually reaching out to my GP, I was left waiting for appointments and any help that they may offer. Nothing came, and after two more visits and e-consults submitted I was ready to give in and think that there was no one out there to help.

My fiance told me to try again as it was now starting to have an impact of my home life, even though I would hide my feelings from everyone. So I did, and a few days later I had a call from a counsellor at my GP surgery who said they would refer me to James’ Place in Newcastle.

At first, I wasn’t so keen on the idea of sitting down with a stranger and opening up. But, on my first appointment I sat down with my therapist and she sat there and listened without judging me as I opened up on why I was in the place I was. It felt so good to be able to sit and speak to someone knowing that they wouldn’t criticise or make judgment and even myself not feeling embarrassed that I have opened up in a way that I felt was impossible to do with anyone that I knew.

My therapist talked through some different ways on what to do when I found myself in a dark place and explained why my mind was stuck on my thoughts I was having.  After several sessions, she suggested writing a letter to my ex. At first I thought it was silly, but when I sat down and started to write down how I actually felt, it all made sense. I then drove to a secluded area, got out my car and read the letter out, as though I was speaking to her. I was a turning point for me. I gave the letter to my therapist and asked her to destroy it, and I felt ready to move on.

I can honestly say that without the help from James’ Place, I wouldn’t be sitting here now telling you all of my experience. The professionalism and empathy that my therapist showed towards me when I was in a place that I never knew I could get to was on another level. And I really hope that any man who has suffered like I did, doesn’t give up hope. There are people out there that can really make the difference, who will sit and listen without judgment, offer ways to work with you, and that is all that men want who suffer from mental health issues. It’s not something to be ashamed of, it’s all illness and sitting down with the right person helps. I hope that any men reading this decides to reach out as I did. It takes courage, but it is worth it. The staff at James’ Place are magnificent in the role they do, and I’m truly grateful they were there for me and pray they are there for years to come to support the people who need it.”

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